A Different Kind of Water Safety...

As I was drinking from my Haoqixiaozi-brand reusable water bottle the other day, I noticed this sticker:

Translated, it says “SGS Inspection, American FDA food-grade standards.” The little red circle says “qualified.” (As if a company would ever label a product “unqualified” or better, “unfit for human use.”)

My first reaction was “yeah right,” so I went to the SGS website to check it out. I learned that SGS is an international consumer product inspection and certification company. It doesn’t really have anything to do with the environment, other than it offers a service to help companies comply with environmental standards, if that’s what they’re looking for. Not relevant in this case.

I also went to the Haoqixiaozi website to see if there was any reference to environmental standards of production or any reference to being BPA-free or anything like that. I learned that the Haoqixiaozi (“curious kid”) brand is affiliated with GE. I also learned that their English web pages are badly translated. Also, I learned that their water bottles are bulletproof. Don’t believe me? Here’s what the website says, and we all know that the internet doesn’t lie.

So-kid's freshness preserving water bottle for sports is manufactured of 100% GE bullet resisting glass resin. It has obtained American FDA authentication and 8 Chinese patents. Its products are sold all over the world. It is leading in the industry.

GE bullet resisting glass resin, chemical name: super high polymerization PC, is different from common medium and low polymerization PC. Its miraculous property makes it widely used in bullet resisting glass manufacture and space .

Did I say bulletproof? I meant “bullet resisting.” Because bullets are something that can be resisted, like the urge to eat ice cream for breakfast every day. Since I'm currently in China I don't have access to my gun collection and consumer-product safety inspection shooting gallery, so I can't verify the claim.

The company sells its water bottles to Wal-Mart, which makes sense, since I bought the bottle at Trust-mart, which is the English name Wal-Mart uses for its China stores. (The actual Chinese name is 好又多, which translates more accurately to “good and plenty.”) They do actually have a certificate from the FDA.